treat people the way you want to be treated

more like treat people a hundred times better than you want to be treated so that they can meet you halfway

and then you'd still probably walk the extra mile for them so it's still not really halfway after all

how hard do i have to try

trying
trying
trying

lumps in my throat either come out as a vicious stream of tears or a turbulent flow of words
the latter feels a lot better, i think

ex·pec·ta·tion

ˌekspekˈtāSH(ə)n/

noun

plural noun: expectations

1. a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

   "reality had not lived up to expectations"

   synonyms:

   supposition, assumption, presumption, conjecture, surmise, calculation, prediction, hope More

   • a belief that someone will or should achieve something.

     "students had high expectations for their future"

     synonyms:

     supposition, assumption, presumption, conjecture, surmise, calculation, prediction, hope "her expectations were unrealistic"

   • archaic

     one's prospects of inheritance.

     
     

     
     

     
     

     re·al·i·ty

     rēˈalədē/

     noun

     1. 1. 

        the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

        "he refuses to face reality"

        synonyms:

        the real world, real life, actuality; More
     2. 2. 

        the state or quality of having existence or substance.

        "youth, when death has no reality"

things my parents forgot to lecture me about

don't be the person who
- always asks to take pictures (this is to avoid being annoying to people who don't enjoy taking pictures with you)
- can't handle truth (painful more often than not, oh well suck it up)
- says too much (listening does not equate to caring)
- needs someone too much (self-explanatory, just never explicitly taught)

always bending over backwards
when others wouldn't even bend over forward

forgive & forget

When you're the type of person who'd drop everything if someone needed you
You forget that not everyone is like that

do you ever forget that something even happened
and then when you remember out of nowhere,
it's like
what
i went through that?
why
dang my life sucks

if i could build myself over
i'd choose to be strong. selfish. relentless.
everything i'm not

Do some moments just ever make you pause and soak in how fake everyone kinda is
I'm trying not to burn more bridges than all those I've already, but it's hard sometimes
People surprise me all the time, even though I shouldn't feel any more shock at this point

I wish I could live a life of solitude and have it be fulfilling enough

Far too fucking familiar