is there anyone out there who really understands me

you can never truly get a fresh start.
no matter how much you try to be a better person, the past will always haunt you.

there's really only one way to leave everything behind and it's a terrible thought but this is precisely why the thought exists.

that sinking feeling. a million times over. seeing things in your head you can't block out. not knowing if nothing makes sense or everything is finally clear.

Old habits die hard 

Forever setting myself up for disappointment 

remember in 8th grade
when all i wanted were grand gestures and the best of everything
funny how things change
how now all i need are the little things, those that require more sincere thought
who would've known it's the little everyday things that are so rare

i don't remember the last time i felt loved not out of obligation or routine
i'm chasing that type of love where someone gets reminded spontaneously at any given moment that they are in love with you--because of something you said or did or just the way you look or sound--where they can't help but explode with that love because it's in those moments that prove even with the unsaid obligation and routine, the magic is still there and that's what i need to feel again

i think everyone deserves someone in their life who would drop everything for you when you need them
and if you can't find it in a partner, just rearrange to find it in parents
it slips my mind how easily you can lose someone you love and need, and how you will lose them
and i don't know what i'll do without that unconditional support

it is no fault but my own that i am this broken

idk.

“Some men see things as they are and say why – I dream things that never were and say why not.”– George Bernard Shaw

I just think this perfectly and quite beautifully explains my purpose in this life

yup
just a waste

the only thing i'm good at is wasting my emotions

when was the last time i felt this hopeless about absolutely everything

i need to get my shit together