Crying Praying so hard
That I can be grounded and guided

who am i anymore, always settling for less than what i know i want

You deserve someone who would move mountains for you
And never lets you forget it

All I get is disappointment

i'm actually so freaking sick of everything

You really want to keep record and attribute everything to the time of month?
Sure, just know it's precisely 4 weeks - 28 days - apart

Lol
Bullshit

When you're so desperate for consolation that 2 or 3 incidents, out of 10 or more, is enough to amount to some significant correlation/causation
Make sure you come up with some explanation for all those posts in between!
You're also only fooling yourself if you think this blog comprehensively documents all the shit I've endured

That's a good one

but also, never apologize for the person you are just because people will always feel the need to find (and point out quite explicitly) imperfections

if someone is refusing to let you forget your flaws, let it question their character rather than your own
if they can't accept you for all that you are, taking into account that you are fucking trying to be better, then why do they deserve to stick around to see any of the good that you try to do and be
maybe they're not who you were wishing they could be.

is there anyone out there who really understands me

you can never truly get a fresh start.
no matter how much you try to be a better person, the past will always haunt you.

there's really only one way to leave everything behind and it's a terrible thought but this is precisely why the thought exists.

that sinking feeling. a million times over. seeing things in your head you can't block out. not knowing if nothing makes sense or everything is finally clear.

Old habits die hard 

Forever setting myself up for disappointment 

remember in 8th grade
when all i wanted were grand gestures and the best of everything
funny how things change
how now all i need are the little things, those that require more sincere thought
who would've known it's the little everyday things that are so rare

i don't remember the last time i felt loved not out of obligation or routine
i'm chasing that type of love where someone gets reminded spontaneously at any given moment that they are in love with you--because of something you said or did or just the way you look or sound--where they can't help but explode with that love because it's in those moments that prove even with the unsaid obligation and routine, the magic is still there and that's what i need to feel again