Oh boy.

Boy. Man. Male.

I have known all my life that it was rather unfortunate to be born female into the world as it continues to be. My mom tells me she practically felt sorry for bringing a girl to life. I don't blame her; I wouldn't wish any of these circumstances upon anyone either. I saw the disadvantages in almost every aspect of life, from biological to social. And yet I have largely lived in denial of remaining sexism, with my heart believing in the progress of our nation especially.

Today, all of that came crashing down for me. Not exactly all at once but the final ruins leave no room for further denial. Society is a complex construct, but it's simple to say it is male-dominated regardless of the nuances. Would a blind vote, based solely upon reputation, qualifications, values, and platforms rather than the image of the candidate, have brought different election results? I don't doubt it. To say the least, I am afraid. Afraid of stepping into the real world that I naively thought would welcome me with open arms. Afraid of the change in momentum of progress. Afraid of finding flaws in everything I want to believe in.

Why are people told to accept things over which they have no control? We deserve to have inquiries about the phenomena surrounding us. Silent acceptance impedes progress and hinders necessary change. Question things. I may not be able to change anything, but having the desire to is certainly a start.

It's so important, more clearly now than ever, that we stay vocal about the areas in desperate need of change. Stay vocal about our beliefs, our ideals, our values. I've been told I'm stubborn. I don't see how else to get through this society as a woman without getting stepped all over or pitied for vulnerability. I stay adamant about my ideas and perspectives because I need to be able to stand for something. And I may not be able to make a difference with my beliefs, alone, as a woman, but having the dream to is certainly a start.

There is so much more floating around in my head after this crazy night but I really should get some rest for the crazy world I have to tackle for yet another day.