:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) 

lol

It's a constant battle

It was something I've been thinking about already,
but when they asked yesterday about ever hearing back from Harvard,
I realized that the thoughts were not going to just go away.

I have regrets.
Even if I had too slim of chances, would it have hurt to try?
Even if I did not want to experience something so new on the other side of the nation, was it not worth a try?
I always say you don't know until you try. Why did I not try?
I'm not one for unfinished business. That will never fly for me.
So how could I let this pass?

There have just been so many what if's.
What if I had submitted my wait-list materials, what if I executed my grand ideas
What if I stood a chance after doing so
What if I allowed myself to be something bigger, even if it meant facing criticism and facing fears
What if, what if, what if

What if I hadn't heard of SEA Admit
What if I hadn't heard of Senior Weekend
What if I didn't experience the things I did
What if I wasn't so overwhelmed with all I wanted to achieve before my senior year ended

I just wonder how different things would be
And even if the outcome would not change anything,
it would change the fact that it keeps lingering in the back of my mind

It's just one of those nights 

10 days

I've found him.

I am strong I am strong I am strong

Well, I have to be

I knew it'd be difficult. I knew that. 

Just going to keep telling myself that

until it can serve as some comfort