is it my fault that i've allowed someone to get away with treating me like this for so long now, that it became justifiable and acceptable until i finally burst?
is it my fault that i've tried to shield my sensitivity and dodge such crippling bullets that hit straight through my heart every time?
is it my fault that i've waited around all this time, hoping for some change in character?
is it my fault that i fooled myself into thinking that someone's love and care is worth all the pain from their inability to show it?
is it my fault that i've looked past the lack of any genuine, thoughtful, worthy apology, time after time?

i go back and forth.
but why should i bear the brunt of someone else's weaknesses?

i can silence myself. i can pretend certain things don't hurt me when they actually do. i can try to avoid the parts of someone that hurt me.
but not without sacrificing my autonomy, my valid feelings, my self-worth.

it's the little things that have accumulated into something that i can no longer endure. you can try to pick apart particular incidents. but it's the cumulative effect. there's no way you can negate that without completely invalidating my feelings. and i'm not here for that anymore.

i can keep making excuses to settle, but why should i?
i know what i want. i've known. why would i deserve anything less?